A Red-Letter Review of Vito Trabucco’s Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

This guy gets it.

Virtues: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp fills every promise it makes in its premise and title. It’s a campy camp slasher with a biblical twist. There are quite a few top-notch kills, my favorite probably being this one:

#axewound

Take a drink for every dick joke and you’ll get to where you need to be to enjoy this film to its completion; a state of forgiveness.

A picture of me in high school exactly.

Sins: Do you think we, as a species, can muster up a camp slasher without rampant transphobia? I’m fucking tired. Also who they cast to play Jesus (spoiler, Jesus makes an appearance) is understandable FOR THE TIME, but cringably regrettable in light of recent ahem bullshittery. He’s a terrible person. But I won’t spoil it!

Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite family gameshow: NAME! THAT! PORNSTACHE!

With that said, the pace is breakneck and the spillage is delightfully cartoonish. The performances actually keep up with the camp and over-the-top mayhem of it all, everyone commits:

I’d like to thank the Academy and God…

It is always nice to see that every knows exactly what kind of movie they’re in. I guess it can be pretty difficult not to make a statement with all these gay and queer references and dispersions flying about in a historically anti-that camp. The film itself is anti-everything in kind of a proto-punk rock way. However, the character of Jesus does get on the pulpit long enough to say that you can be gay and still be a great Christian, which is great news I guess. But again, the person who plays Jesus is a venereal pus roach, so I dunno… we’re getting too far into the weeds here. Back to the point:

If your flavor is a psychopathic killer nun rubbing out horny teens in God’s Christian wilderness, hop on the alter and give thanks! Genuine laughs, inspired kills, and Trabucco is generous with the camp and gore. OR. Just cancel it altogether for the transphobic nonsense, you do you! Me? This film is much like my life as an actual Christian; I had a great time for what it was worth… but I won’t be returning.

❤ Jeremy


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