FULL DISCLOSURE PART. WHEN THE TEXT TURNS GREEN, THE FULL DISCLOSURE IS OVER. THIS PART WILL BE LONG. FEEL FREE TO SKIP IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT FULL DISCLOSURES: I was a kickstarter backer for Return to Return to Nuke ‘Em High AKA Volume 2 (henceforth referred to by the super simple acronym of RtRtNeHAKAV2). … More NSFW Schlock du Jour: Return to Return to Nuke ‘Em High AKA Volume 2 (2018)
Putting together a year end best of list is something that I equally enjoy and dread. On one hand, it’s an opportunity to take some time to reflect on the year that has passed and all of the great (and not so great) films that I have seen in the past twelves months and I … More The 13: The Best Horror Movies Of 2018
*this piece was originally written years ago for an unpublished fanzine which is why it goes on a bit longer than my usual reviews and speaks like there wasn’t a VHS resurgence* As older fans of horror can and probably will tell you (hundreds of times) before the internet was a globe encompassing beast, we … More The Merits of Sin (Poetically Waxed Special): Meatcleaver Massacre (1977)
The great thing about getting older is that the 90s are like the new 80s. I guess. That probably doesn’t make sense. But that’s kind of the point. When I write reviews for films like RepliGATOR, I try to write them in the same style that the film is made. Anyways, RepliGATOR is a shitty, … More RepliGATOR – A Review of the Film
IT ARRIVES! IT LOOMS! IT—Uhhhh… I have always said “Movies don’t have enough predator ducks in disco clothes.” As far as I know, there is only one movie that fits that bill. This is the story of how a menagerie of Baltimore yokels have run-ins with a technologically advanced space chupacabra. THIS… IS… The Nightbeast … More Schlock du Jour: Nightbeast (1982)
All The Creatures Were Stirring (2018)Directed By: Rebekah McKendry, David Ian McKendryWritten By: Rebekah McKendry, David Ian McKendry All The Creatures Were Stirring faced an uphill battle with me before I even pressed play. I’m not a fan of holiday horror movies and there are very few anthology films that I like. As an anthology … More Streaming: All The Creatures Were Stirring
Spoilers will be coming fast and strong, so if you want to go in as blindly as I did just stop reading and see the damn the movie. If you’re a fan of found footage (I am) I will assure you that this flick kicks major ass and is one of the best found footage … More Fresh Cuts: Cold Ground (2017) (France)
O’Brien takes all the good parts of a slow-burning 80s B Horror movie and conjures them into this highly satisfying little diddy. Death Dance can’t burn too slowly though, clocking in at just over 100 pages, but it gets done what it needs to. You can read this one folding clothes, listening to metal with … More Review of ‘Death Dance in the Woods’ by Jeff O’Brien (2018)
A bad ass brunette walks into a church at St. Francis Boarding School like she owns the damn place. Cigarette dangling from her mouth, she takes a bat to a few nuns and proceeds to throw gasoline all over the mother superior. She sets her on fire with her cigarette than takes a shotgun to … More The Merits of Sin: The Convent (2000) (USA)
directed by Lewis Teague runtime: 91 heavenly mins MAKE SEWERS GREAT AGAIN! It’s 1980 and Robert “Fucking” Forster is a tough cop combating a grouchy gator and male pattern baldness. Robin “Yes Please” Riker plays a stunning young herpetologist with “a wonderful mind… and beautiful tits.” Can they stop a rather riotous reptile from ruining … More Schlock du Jour: Alligator (1980)
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