A Pictorial Review of Body Melt (1993, Australia)

No, this is not a review of a 90s R&B album! As a matter of fact this is a Cronenberg-ian body horror ride from the rough guts of Melbourne (Melbin), Australia on the tail end of their New Wave Punk scene. It’s directed by Philip Brophy, former drummer of performance punk band, ➡⬆➡ (Pronounced tsc-tsc-tsc … More A Pictorial Review of Body Melt (1993, Australia)

A Red-Letter Review of Vito Trabucco’s Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

Virtues: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp fills every promise it makes in its premise and title. It’s a campy camp slasher with a biblical twist. There are quite a few top-notch kills, my favorite probably being this one: Take a drink for every dick joke and you’ll get to where you need to be to enjoy … More A Red-Letter Review of Vito Trabucco’s Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

[Off-Putting Ride Metaphor] CarousHELL (2016)

“Look, a horse.” “No, that’s a unicorn.” “What’s the difference?” “Horn coming out of its head.” ~Actual dialog from CarousHell In Steve Rudzinski’s Murdercorn movie a carousel unicorn breaks free from its ride prison (due to a “blood-borne pathogen” (a plotline that was ditched pretty early on because second drafts are bullshit amIrigh?) and- more … More [Off-Putting Ride Metaphor] CarousHELL (2016)

Schlock du Jour: The Worm Eaters (1977)

directed by: Herb Robinsruntime: 90 mins THE WORM EATERS is a funeral dirge played entirely on kazoo. My disappointment with this movie is boundless. In my endless naivete, I assumed that a movie called “THE WORM EATERS”, wherein worms are eaten, and people subsequently turn into gigantic worms, would be right up my alley. Boys … More Schlock du Jour: The Worm Eaters (1977)

(NSFW) Schlock du Jour: The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969)

directed by: Emilio Vieyra, Jerald Intratorruntime: 87 mins It’s February, you know what that means! Twitterpated teens with hearts for eyes, their wings and gills all aflutter. Love is in the air! What better time, then, to share this review with you for THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP Dr. Humpp is a mad doctor who performs … More (NSFW) Schlock du Jour: The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969)

The Merits of Sin: Chills Down Your Spine 2020 USA Dead Lantern Pictures ****1/2 NSFW

There’s some things I don’t recommend slipping back into. Heroin addiction, last week’s unwashed Brazilian flag speedo, collecting candid snaps of Mark Wahlberg on the toilet…you know, the usual. I once believed that picking up on your anthology wraparound five years later fell into that category but I’m happy to say that I was so … More The Merits of Sin: Chills Down Your Spine 2020 USA Dead Lantern Pictures ****1/2 NSFW

The Merits of Sin: Shivers Down Your Spine (2015) (USA) ****

A microwaveable pizza transforms into a lantern whilst being nuked (No. I’m not having a stroke. Watch the damn movie!), the poor schlub waiting on his personal treat rubs the lantern and out pops a sexy topless genie. His first wish is to have her cover up (Justin ain’t no creep!), realizing he may not … More The Merits of Sin: Shivers Down Your Spine (2015) (USA) ****